Mecha-fists of fury/Pin me Baby
It had taken several trips winding in and around the booths to discover something to justify today’s take-home pay. Wiggling and jiggling however odd or attractive depending on your perspective were not think tank worthy news. Hand held or stand alone masturbation devices connected to the PC and synchronized to squeeze, pump and clench in time to pornographic DVDs via script editor software, now that’s news.
Sad news for Japanese women since it’s a commentary on the increasing isolation of modern domestic males and the falling birthrate but news.
I had been standing mesmerized or perhaps stupefied is a better word in front of a large sex toy booth specializing in prickly gel-like dildoes of acid-induced ‘Grateful Dead at their heyday’ brightness. There must be at least fifty or more on display, each one vibrating and gyrating as fast as its little battery-filled heart permitted.
This booth was at least preferable to the automatic pulsing penis next door. It looked like someone had stuck a large rubber penis on one of those shoe polishing machines from an old mail order catalog.
“It pulses at different rhythms for maximum pleasure,” the booth manager enthused.
“You’re not allowed to talk to me,” I said in Japanese stalking away.
Jake who made no secret he was a Double D man at heart – ‘”You are in the wrong country boy!” I had said upon learning this — had finally rallied a bit. There was very little live action but skinny girl porn was still porn and it was on screens everywhere.
“Notice that 99 percent of the sex toys are for women yet there are like, four women here?” said Jake lowering his camera. “Visitors, I mean.”
“I think they are perhaps supposed to be used on women by the men? I’m guessing.”
Snorting in what I assumed a derisive manner Jake said, “Dildoes are for pansies. Real men don’t need dildoes to get the job done.”
“Wait,” I said considering. “Maybe they are for Gay guys. All those toys work for them.”
Jake made an anguished face, “Oh, that is so wrong Sacha! Why did you have to say that, Oh god, my eyes!”
Wouldn’t you know the word ‘Gay’ had barely left my mouth when I noticed, just beyond the gyrating toy display which straddled a corner between two aisles, a large man dressed in a wig, fish net stockings and black bunny girl costume.
“Let’s go over there!” I pulled the photographer after me.
At first I couldn’t tell what the brightly lit booth was all about, there was a hentai anime sex DVD on a large screen TV and a plump guy with glasses and a combover sitting in front of it. The trannie guy was speaking in the Japanese version of girly-man speak saying something about pleasure but I was having trouble following the mannered phrasings. Moving around for a better look I saw what they were selling.
“Start shooting,” I told Jake.
Japanese company Somcom http://www.somjapan.com/
promises virtual hands free masturbation with a stand alone electronic device that gives ‘hand job’ a whole new meaning The fist shape head – yes it is shaped like a clenched fist with a soft (washable) inner lining — is attached to a motor and fitted to a frame that slides between the legs. This is an improvement (?) over the previous model, also on display, that looked something like a juicer. Demonstrations favored a sitting position for personal orgasmic stimulation. The booth manager was excited, telling me about the wonders of synchronized mechanical masturbation because this furious fist action was only a small part of the whole story. An optional— but essential – attachment plugs into a USB port on the PC and that’s where the real fun starts.
Loaded with script editing software, the motor’s motion synchs up with Porn DVDs on the computer shooting little erotic electronic messages to the Somcon pulsing, clenching, etc., etc. in rhythm to the on-screen humping, pumping, or slurping action.
It’s virtual sex.
Since the guy’s hands are free he can cheer on his performance, play with hand puppets, or even make balloon animals, the possibilities are endless. The device will be available in Japan late August or early September the booth manager assured me. Retail price is set at 30,000 JPY (USD252) though the staff assured me I could get it wholesale for just 16,000 JPY (USD134).
Thanks boys.
Oh, the USB attachment costs an extra.10, 000 JPY (USD84).
“We’re on a roll here,” I told Jake as we left the booth. “There has to be something else incorporating script writing software and masturbation. There is no way Somcom is behind all this.”
It took about 15 minutes but we found what I was looking for. I had walked right by this booth earlier writing it off as a ‘pocket pussy’ vendor. I had been way too hasty.
For all men who have dreamed of having sex with sports implements– don’t lie, I know you’re out there — the aptly yet embarrassingly named ‘Virtual Hole’ is right up their alley. Or they are up its alley to be more precise. It’s a virtual vagina disguised in a bowling pin. This has to be the only private sexual device men could display in their living room. Buy a few fake bowling trophies and pretend you’re an ace. Like the Somcom it links to PC or TV for synchronized interactive porn fun via script editing software.
Sigh. Lonely, lonely fun.
This is obviously the next wave of hardcore Japanese tech design. Who would have thought? More ambitious than the plastic fist of fury, manufacturer Daihaku Inc. says they are working with porn producers for a special line of bowling pin-linked DVDs and a pay-per-view style website.
But wait, there’s more.
The female version of Virtual Hole., Virtual Stick, comes with a vibrator and a ‘Candy Stick’. The plan is eventually to link the devices and via Live Chat, you and your girlfriend or paid companion or whoever is on the other link, I couldn’t believe I was hearing this from a guy in a business suit telling me with a straight face, that when she or he if you’re Gay plays with the Candy Stick, the synchronicity between the two shoots from her/his device to the man and his, well, manhood and back again.
Daihaku is looking to eliminate body to body contact all together. The Japanese dream sex life at last. You only touch yourself.
Currently only available in Japan the Virtual Hole will soon roll into the European market. Americans though, must wait awhile longer.
http://www.daihaku.jp/products/index.html#takumi / For an animated demo check out: http://www.daihaku.jp/products/synchro.html#dvd
Jake’s face was ashen, “Jerking off has its place Sacha, I won’t lie, but this,” he waved at the computer simulation of Virtual Hole and Stick interaction, “This is sacrilegious. It’s wrong on so many levels. Men and women,” he paused, “It’s all about body –to-body. That’s what humans are supposed to strive for, contact.”
“I know Jake, I know. Come on,” I pulled him in the direction of the food/refreshment area. “Let’s get you something, a cold beer I think, to settle your nerves.”
Pin me baby. Pin me hard.
